Malangizo Olimbana ndi Wokondedwa Wanu Akufa
Kulimbana ndi chisoni chodzidzimutsa kuli kosiyana ndi kulimbana ndi chisoni pambuyo poti wina wamwalira (chisoni chenicheni.) Mwinamwake mungakhale ndi maganizo osokonezeka pamene mukupeza malo osasunthika otetezera chiyembekezo, pomwe mukuyamba kusiya. Sizimangokhala zokhumudwitsa zokha, koma nthawi zambiri anthu amatha kulandira chithandizo chachisoni chawo panthawiyi.
Nthawi zina kumvetsa chisoni ngakhale imfa isanamvekenso ngati kutaya mtima, kwa wina yemwe "sanakhaleko".
Tiyeni tiwone zomwe zikutanthawuza kukhala ndi chisoni choyembekezereka ndikugawana malangizo othandizira kuthana nawo pamene mulira maliro a munthu amene ali pano.
Kodi Chisoni Ndi Chiyani?
Tanthauzo la chisoni choyembekezereka ndikumvetsa chisoni komwe kumamveka m'masiku otsiriza a moyo. Nthawi zambiri zimakhala zomvetsa chisoni ndi okondedwa a munthu amene akuyandikira imfa, komanso munthu amene akufa. Ngakhale chisoni pamaso pa imfa chitatsegulira mwayi woweruza imfa yomweyo mwadzidzidzi, sikumva chisoni kusanachitike-kapena ngakhale kufupikitsa-nthawi ya imfa pambuyo pa imfa.
Nkhaniyi inalembedwa kwa omwe ali ndi wokondedwa yemwe akuyandikira imfa ndipo akukumana ndi chisoni, koma iwo omwe akufa amakhalanso ndi chisoni chimenechi. Tikuyembekeza kuti malingaliro othandizira kupirira m'munsimu athandiza onse omwe akufa komanso okondedwa awo.
Malangizo Olimbana ndi Chisoni Choyembekezera
Zobvomerezana zomwe zimalankhula za "nkhondo molimbika" zingakhale zokongola, koma zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kwa iwo amene amasamalira wokondedwa wawo wakufa (kapena munthu amene akufa) kufotokoza momveka bwino chisoni chomwe amachimva asanafe. Sikuti aliyense amakumana ndi chisoni chachikulu, koma ndi wamba.
Kafukufuku wina anapeza kuti 40 peresenti ya akazi amasiye anapeza chisoni chachikulu asanafe zovuta kwambiri kuposa chisoni pambuyo pa imfa.
Ngati mukukumana ndichisoni pamene wokondedwa wanu adakali moyo sizikutanthauza kuti mukusiya wokondedwa wanu kapena kusiya. M'malo mwake, kugwiritsira ntchito chisoni chanu kungakupatseni mpata wopindula ndi kutsekedwa omwe simungakhale nawo.
Onani mfundo zotsatirazi zokhudzana ndi chisoni chimene anthu ena adapeza kuti chikuwathandiza pamene mukuvutika maganizo.
Lolani Wokha Kumva Chisoni ndi Kumva Chisoni
Kudzilola kumverera ululu mu mtima mwako kumakuthandizani kukhala woona mtima ndi woona ndi inu nokha. Chisoni chakuyembekezera sikumangomva kulira kwa imfa ya wokondedwa, koma zina zonse zomwe zimaphatikizapo imfa. Kutayika kwa mnzanu. Kutaya kwa kukumbukira limodzi. Kutaya maloto kwa tsogolo. Iyi ndi nthawi yomwe chisoni chochokera m'mbuyomu chikhoza kuukitsidwa kuti "abwererenso." Kulimbana ndi ululu umene mumamva kungapitirize kupweteka pakapita ulendo wanu.
Chisoni chimakhala ndi cholinga kaya chimachitika musanafe kapena pambuyo pa imfa. Ochita kafukufuku adatithandiza pozindikira magawo anayi ndi ntchito zachisoni . Ntchito izi zimayamba ndi kuvomereza kuwonongeka koyandikira, kugwira ntchito kupweteka, ndikumaliza kupita m'njira yomwe imakulolani kuti musamutsire kugwirizana kwanu ndi wokondedwa wanu kumalo ena.
Izi sizikutanthauza kusiya mnzanuyo kapena kuwaiwala. M'malo mwake, kumaliza ntchito zachisoni kumakupatsani mwayi wokhala ndi chimwemwe ndi chikondi chomwe munayamba mutagawana, koma popanda chisoni chomwe chimapangitsa kukumbukira zopweteka kwambiri.
Anthu ambiri amakumana ndi zovuta kufotokoza chisoni chawo asanafe chifukwa amaona kuti sichikuthandizira wokondedwa wawo wakufa. Kupeza mnzanu wodalirika kungakhale chinthu choyamba chothandizira kuthana ndi chisoni.
Musayende Yokha: Sonyezani Chisoni Chanu
Ndikofunika kuti musamangodzimva kupweteka kwanu koma kugawana zakukhosi kwanu ndi mnzanu wapamtima kapena membala wanu.
Palibe amene ayenera kuthana ndi chisoni chokhalitsa yekha. Kuika maganizo anu kwa inu nokha kungapangitse kukhala wosungulumwa komanso kudzipatula.
Ngati n'kotheka, pezani mnzanu amene amachedwetsa kuweruza komanso amene angakhale womasuka pamene mukufotokoza mkwiyo. Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti chisoni choyembekezereka n'chofanana ndi chisoni chimene munthu wina afa, koma nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi mkwiyo komanso kutaya mtima.
Yesetsani kupeza bwenzi yemwe amatha kumvetsera, ndipo sayesa "kukonza zinthu." Mnzanu yemwe amatha kumvetsera sangakuuzeni zomwe muyenera kuchita kapena momwe muyenera kumverera ndi zabwino. Ngati tilibe wokondedwa wathu akukumana ndi imfa, tilibe njira yodziwira momwe wina akumvera. Pokhapokha ngati takhalapo ife tokha, ndipo palibe anthu awiri omwe ali ndi maulendo ofanana, akhoza kukhala okhumudwa kuti alangizidwe zomwe muyenera kuchita kapena momwe muyenera kumverera. Anthu ena amatsatira malangizo amenewa mokwiya, pamene ena amangotseka. Njira iliyonse, sikukuthandizani kuti mupirire bwino.
Ngati mnzanu akuyesera kugawana uphungu, muloleni adziwe kuti mumangofuna kuti amvetsere ndipo asayese kukonza zinthu. Maganizo amene mumamva samakhala ovuta. Komabe kupeza munthu woti amvetsere kumakupatsani njira yakuyenda mumsewu kumverera pang'ono pokha.
Ngati simungapeze mzanga wothandizira, kapena ngati mungathe, magulu othandizira pa intaneti, monga operekedwa ndi CancerCare alipo omwe amapereka thandizo kwa osamalira anthu omwe ali ndi matenda otha.
Muzigwiritsa ntchito nthawi pamodzi
Nthawi zambiri timamva anthu akuyankhula za momwe zimakhalira zovuta kuthera nthawi ndi wokondedwa wawo amene akufa. Iwo safuna kukumbukira wokondedwa wawo momwe aliri tsopano koma m'malo mwake amafuna kukumbukira momwe adaliri asanamwalire. Izi zikuti, kuthera nthawi n'kofunika osati kwa munthu amene akufa komanso kwa okondedwa ake. Kupewa kusonkhana ndi wokondedwa wakufa nthawi zina kumadzetsa chisoni pambuyo pake.
Ganizirani njira zabwino zomwe mungagwiritse ntchito palimodzi. Chochitika china chomwe ena apeza chothandiza ndicho kukokera mabokosi ndi albamu za zithunzi zakale. Kuseka ndi misonzi ya kukumbukira kungakhale kuyeretsa kwambiri. Kwa mkazi, mungamupemphe kuti atulutse zodzikongoletsera zake ndi kuyankhula za nkhani kumbuyo kwa chidutswa chilichonse. Ngati muli ndi ana ang'onoang'ono, kapena ngati simukutero, mungafune kujambula mavidiyo ngati wokondedwa wanu akugawana nkhani za momwe zimakhalira amalembera imelo.
Ntchito ina imene anthu ena apeza kuti ndi yapadera ndikutenga mafuta osasuntha komanso kuthira mafuta. Mwinanso mungakonde kupeza zina mwa mafilimu omwe amakonda kwambiri kuti mum'werenge. Ngati mudakonda munthu wokonda nsomba, muuzeni kuti agawane nthano zomwe amakonda kwambiri "nsomba". Mndandandawu ukhoza kupitirirabe.
Aliyense ndi wosiyana pa zomwe zingakhale zothandiza ndipo sizochita zomwe mumasankha zomwe ziri zofunika. Kutenga nthawi, ngakhale nthawi imeneyo ili chete.
Ngati mukuchita mantha poyendera wokondedwa wanu, tengani kamphindi kuti muphunzire za kulankhula ndi wokondedwa wanu wakufa. Pomalizira, anthu ambiri amaopa kuti adzasokoneza ndikumvetsa chisoni cha wokondedwa wawo. Sungani mu malingaliro kuti nthawi zambiri wokondedwa wanu angakonde kuti mumuchezere, ngakhale mutayika konse. Misozi ili bwino. Ngati mukumva kuti mukuda nkhaŵa, makamaka ngati wokondedwa wanu akufuna kulankhula za imfa yake, Tengani kamphindi kuganiza za kuyang'anizana ndi mantha anu kuti mukumane ndi wokondedwa wanu wakufa.
Kumbukirani Ana
Ana amakhalanso ndi chisoni chachikulu, ndipo ngakhale kuti ndi kofunikira kwambiri kuti ana azigwira ntchito mwachisoni, nthawi zambiri amapatsidwa mpata wochepa kuti adziwonetse okha, ngakhale m'mapangidwe ambiri odwala . Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti ana omwe sapatsidwa mpata wokhumudwa amavutika kwambiri ndi nkhawa ndi kuvutika maganizo m'tsogolo. Zina mwa mfundo zotsatirazi, monga chithandizo chamakono, zingakhale zothandiza makamaka kwa ana.
Ana amafunika kuphatikizidwa ndikusowa malo abwino kuti adziwonetsere okha. Ngati ndi kholo limene likufa, kusankha wina kupatula kholo kungakhale kothandiza pamene ana angayese kukhala olimba kwa kholo lawo kapena agogo awo omwe akufa. Pa kafukufuku wina anadziwika kuti makolo omwe ali ndi khansara yaikulu sanadziwe kuti ana awo anali ndi chisoni chotani. Komabe, kafukufuku womwewo anapeza kuti ana omwe ali ndi kholo lomwe ali ndi khansa yamtengo wapatali amayamikira mamembala awo komanso zinthu zofunika kwambiri pamoyo kuposa ana omwe alibe kholo la khansa.
Tsegulani kuyankhulana pafupi ndi imfa zawonetsedwa kuti zithandizire kuchepetsa nkhawa, kuvutika maganizo, ndi mavuto amakhalidwe kwa ana omwe ali ndi kholo lomwe likudwala kwambiri. Ana amafunika kutsimikiziridwa kuti adzasamalidwa pambuyo pa imfa komanso kuti sadzasiyidwa. Phunzirani zambiri zokhudza zosowa za ana omwe ali ndi chisoni komanso mmene angalankhulire ndi ana za imfa.
Palinso mabuku ambiri okonzedwa kuti athandize ana kuthana ndi imfa ndikufa.
Ganizirani Zolemba
Anthu ambiri amapeza kuti kusunga magazini ndi machiritso kwambiri. Kusunga magazini kungakhale cathartic dzanja limodzi, pamene mukufotokoza ngakhale zinthu zomwe simungamasuke kugawana ndi mnzanu. Kumbali ina, ikhoza kukhala malo olembera malingaliro apadera pa nthawi ya imfa ya wokondedwa wanu kuti mutha kukufunirani kuti mulembe. Anthu ena amakonda magazini yapadera. Ena angasankhe kugawana malingaliro awo pawebusaiti monga Caring Bridge, komwe angagwirizane nawo malingaliro awo ndi malingaliro awo koma zosintha ndi zopempha thandizo kwa okondedwa.
M'malo mwake, kapena kuwonjezera pa, kuyankhula, anthu ena amapeza kuti makalata olembera amathandiza ndi chisoni cha imfa yomwe ikuyandikira. Mwachitsanzo, mukhoza kulemba kalata kwa wokondedwa wanu wakufa akunena chilichonse chimene mukufuna kuti mutsimikizire. Ngati mukufa, kulemba makalata kwa ana anu-mwinamwake makalata omwe angatsegulire pa tsiku linalake-kumapereka malo oti afotokoze mtima wachifundo ndipo nthawi yomweyo apereke iwo amene atsalira mphatso yayikulu.
Pindulani ndi Njira Zogwiritsira Ntchito Kulimbana
Kuchita njira yowonjezera kungakhale kothandiza kwa wodwalayo kufa komanso kwa okondedwa ake. Zambiri mwa mankhwalawa zapezeka kuti zithandizire ndi maganizo monga nkhawa, ndipo kafukufuku ochepa apeza kuti kugwiritsa ntchito njira yosamalirira yosamalira anthu omwe akumva chisoni kwathandizira kubweretsa chiyembekezo ndi machiritso ku zowawa zomwe zachitikira. Ena mwa machitidwewa ndi awa:
- Zithunzi Zotsogoleredwa - Zithunzi zothandizidwa zimamveka zothandiza kwa odwala omwe amwalira ndi okondedwa awo omwe amafa ndi khansara omwe ali ndi chisoni choyembekezereka
- Kusinkhasinkha
- Art Therapy
- Kuchiza Mankhwala
- Qigong
- Nyimbo zothandizira
Pitirizani Kukonda Zinthu Zauzimu
Uzimu ndi wofunika kwa onse omwe akufa komanso omwe akuwasamalira. Zauzimu zingatenge mawonekedwe achipembedzo ndi mapemphero, kusinkhasinkha, kulumikizana ndi chilengedwe, kapena kumvetsera nyimbo zomwe ziri zothandiza kwa inu. Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti anthu omwe akufa amakhala ndi moyo wabwino m'masiku otsiriza ngati ali ndi moyo wauzimu wokhazikika, ndipo moyo wa uzimu umapindulitsa kwambiri kuposa munthu wakufa. Kafukufuku waposachedwapa anapeza kuti osamalira anthu omwe ali ndi khansa yapamwamba sankasokonezeka kwambiri ngati wokondedwa wawo wakufa anali ndi moyo wauzimu.
Pitirizani Kudziwa Zosangalatsa
Palibe malo ambiri okondweretsa wina akamwalira, ndipo nthawiyi ndi nthawi yachisoni. Koma nthawi zina kuseketsa, mu malo abwino, kukhoza kuchiza. Ndimakumbukira kumasulidwa kwakukulu kwa apongozi anga aakazi pamene abambo anga abambo anafa. Mayi anga anaiwala masokosi ake pamene anabweretsa chovala chake chonse choika maliro kumalo osungiramo katundu ndipo anagwetsa misonzi. Mlamu wanga mwachikondi anapereka masokisi pamapazi ake - masokosi abwino a REI. Bambo anga oyamba, bambo wokondedwa amene ananyamula ngakhale T-shirts yake mwina sakanasankha masokosi awo, ndipo lingaliro ili linali kuyeretsa momwe linasinthira misonzi ya amayi anga a chisoni kukhala misonzi ya kuseka. Mlamu wanga, atagwira mafupa athu oseketsa ndiye anayamba kuimba "masokosi anga apita kumwamba." Ndikuyang'anira kugulitsiko ndikupita kunyumba Ndine wotsimikiza kuti malingaliro a a clerk tinangokhala maola ambiri ku bar osati kunyumba ya maliro.
Malo ena a khansa tsopano akupereka chithandizo cha kuseketsa kwa anthu omwe ali ndi khansa yakula. Inde, pali nthawi zambiri pamene kuseka sikungathe kuchita. Koma nthawi zina, ngakhale ngati mukuyenera "kupusitsa mpaka mutapanga" - kuseka kungachepetse mtima.
- Kupanikizika Kwambiri ndi Thanzi Labwino la Kuseka
Khalani Okhululuka
Kukhululukidwa ndi machiritso, ndipo kuphunzira kudzikhululukira nokha ndikofunikira monga kukhululukira ena. Nthawi yisanafike imfa imadzazidwa ndi malingaliro ndi kukwiya ndi kukwiya pakati pa mamembala omwe angakhale amphamvu. Koma iyi ndi nthawi yothetsera kusiyana. Chinthu chabwino choyamba kukhululukira kumvetsera. Nthawi zambiri anthu amatha kunena chinthu chomwecho - m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Komabe nthawi zina pali kusiyana kosiyana. Funso limene mungadzifunse ngati muli okwiya ndi munthu wina m'banja lanu, "kodi ndikofunika kukonda kapena kulondola?" Winawake adanena kuti mkwiyo ndi poizoni wokonzekera wina ndikumwa wekha. Kusiya mkwiyo ndi kukhumudwitsa kuyambira kale ndiko kumasula. Dzipatse nokha mphatso ya chikhululuko.
Perekani Wokondedwa Wanu Chilolezo Chofa
Si zachilendo kuti wina apitirire mpaka nthawi yeniyeni - mwachitsanzo, kuyembekezera mpaka atagwira tsiku monga kumaliza mwana, tsiku lobadwa, kapena kubwera kwa wokondedwa. Kwa anthu ena, zimawoneka ngati kuti amadzilola okha kutsirizika pambuyo pa wokondedwa wawo akamanena mwanjira inayake, ndipo pochita zimenezo, amavomereza chithandizo. Chilolezo chofa chimatha kuyenda njira ziwiri. Usiku agogo anga anamwalira anati kwa ine, "ife tiphonye wina ndi mnzake." Mawu ake anandipatsa chilolezo chomulola kuti apite, ndiyeno yankho langa losonyeza kuti ndikanakhala bwino ndikumulola kuti apite kumalo otsatira. Mphatso yaulere ingakhale mphatso yokongola.
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