Kodi mungatani kuti mukhalebe ndi maganizo abwino ndikupitirizabe kukweza matenda a khansa ? Poyamba, ndikofunika kunena kuti nthawi zonse simuyenera kukhala otsimikiza. Ndipotu, kulola kudzimva chisoni ndikudzipempha nthawi kuti muzitha kupsa mtima, kukhumudwa ndi mantha ndi mnzanu wabwino ndikofunika kwambiri monga kukhalabe wabwino. Mumadzilemekeza nokha mukalola kuti mufotokoze mmene mumamvera-kaya ndi zabwino kapena zoipa.
Ndipo nthawi yotsatira mukamangokhalira kumenyana ndi munthu yemwe akukuuzani "Zonse zomwe mukufuna kugonjetsa khansa ndizooneka bwino," m'malo mwake muwauze kuti palibe umboni uliwonse wosonyeza kuti odwala khansa ali ndi maganizo abwino yaitali.
Koma tiyeni tiyang'ane nazo. Zimangomva bwino kuti mupeze galasi labwino. Ndipo aliyense amene akukumana ndi khansa ayenera kukhala wosangalala kwambiri momwe angathere. Zomwe nkhaniyi ikukhudzana ndi kukupatsani malangizo othandizira kuti muwone galasi ngati theka labwino-mukangowona ngati theka opanda kanthu. Tonsefe timadziwa mmene maganizo athu angasinthire tikamayankha foni kapena mnzanu kapena achibale athu akugwera, choncho tiyeni tiyambe ndi maubwenzi.
Dzisangalatseni ndi Anthu Abwino ndi Mphamvu Zabwino
Mwinamwake mukuganiza kale za abwenzi ndi achibale anu omwe amamwetulira nkhope yanu mwa kukhalapo. Pamene mukukumana ndi kulemera kwa dziko pa mapewa anu, iwo amayenda ngati kuwala kwa dzuwa ndipo pafupifupi mosavuta amatsitsa katundu wanu.
Mabwenzi abwinowa alipo kuti akuthandizeni pamene mukufunikira, musabwerere pamene mukufuna kukambirana za mantha anu ndikutulutsa zabwino mwa inu, ndikukupatsani chikoka panthawi yomwe mukuchifuna. Amakulimbikitsani kuti mukhale olimba mtima mukakhala ndi mantha (ndipo aliyense amene akunena kuti sawopa matenda a khansa ali ndi vuto moona mtima,) ndi kupanga zosankha zovuta komanso zosankha zosautsa.
Kuphatikiza pa anthu abwino m'moyo wanu, kudzizungulira nokha ndi mphamvu zabwino monga mabuku olimbikitsa komanso nyimbo zolimbikitsa zingakuthandizeni kuti mukhale osangalala pamene mukukumana ndi tsunami yotchedwa kansa.
Pezani Nthawi Yomwe Mukugwiritsa Ntchito ndi Anthu Osayenerera ndi Kuthetsa Ubale Woopsa
Musanayambe kuchepetsa mtima, ndikofunika kuti musamalire zomwe zimakhala namsongole m'miyoyo yathu. Ena angakhale okhumudwitsa koma apambana okha. Ena amatha kutulutsa kuwala, ndikuyika zokongola zonse.
Nthawi zina zimakhala zovuta kuti musagwirizane ndi anthu osamvera-mwachitsanzo, ngati mayi anu kapena wachibale wanu. Kwa amai, izi zingakhale zovuta makamaka ngati inu mumaseŵera mkhalapakati kapena wotsutsa pazochitika za banja. Ndizodabwitsa kuti zimakhala zovuta kuti anthu ena azidziika okha choyamba-koma pamene mukulimbana ndi moyo wanu, mulibe chisankho. Tonsefe timadziwa za anthu osauka, ndipo timadziwa momwe mawu osokoneza amatha kukhalira. Ndizowonjezera bwanji izi zikhoza kuvulaza pamene chitetezo chanu chili pansi mutatha kugonana ndi khansa. Ganizirani za wina m'moyo mwanu amene mungamupemphe kukhala womulankhulira wanu, "woteteza" wanu pa se. Munthu amene angathe kunena "ayi" kwa inu pamene mukuvutika kunena kuti ayi.
Wina yemwe angathe mwaulemu kunena kuti "nthawi yatha" pamene simukumva kuti muli ndi mphamvu zokwanira.
Kwa anthu omwe ali ndi khansa, makamaka mitundu ina ya khansara monga khansara yamapapo, mlandu ukhoza kuponyedwa pa wodwala, ndipo ndemanga zonena za izi zingamve ngati mukukankhidwa kale.
Pali anthu omwe mungafunikire kupeŵa kwathunthu, ndipo ngati munakhalapo ndi chibwenzi chomwe chingakhale "poizoni" mumatha kumvetsa kuti mawu akuti "maganizo amantha" amachokera.
Phunzirani Kukonzanso
Kukonzanso zamaganizo kumangosintha momwe mumayendera pazochitika kapena kulingalira za lingaliro.
Zinthu sizikusintha, koma mumatero. Mwachidule, zikutanthauza kupeza njira yosinthira malingaliro anu kotero kuti mmalo mowona galasi theka mulibe, mukhoza kuona galasi labwino. Chitsanzo kapena ziwiri zingathandize kufotokoza izi:
- Ngati mukuyenera kukhala ndi mankhwala a chemotherapy 8, mungayankhe bwanji mukadutsa? Mungathe kubuula ndi kuyankhula ndi mawu oopa momwe mukufunikiranso kuthana ndi magawo ena 4. Kapena mmalo mwake, mungathe kunena mochokera pansi pamtima kuti, "Wow-ine ndapanga magawo 4 ndikukhala ndi 4!"
- Kapena, mmalo molira maliro anu okongola kapena otsala tsitsi lonse, mukhoza kutonthoza anthu omwe akuzungulirani mosiyana ndi iwo, simukusowetsani miyendo (kwa mkazi) kapena nkhope (kwa mwamuna) angapo miyezi.
Ndi pafupifupi zochitika zilizonse mungathe kukonzanso pang'ono, ngakhale nthawi zina zimakhala zosangalatsa pang'ono. Mwina simungakhulupirire nthawi zonse, koma kungonena izi mokweza mukhoza kumverera bwino. (Kunena zoona, zinali zabwino zokhala ndi miyendo yabwino kwambiri popanda kutenga miniti kuti ameta ndevu kapena kudwala nthenda imodzi kwa miyezi yambiri-ngakhale zinatenga kanthawi kuti mukhulupirire.) Nthawi yotsatira mukakhumudwa kapena pansi, yesani njira izi kubwezeretsa mkhalidwe kapena lingaliro.
Taganizirani za Mantra
Tikhoza kuseka ponena za anthu "akulirira," koma kutsimikizira ndi njira imodzi yothetsera vuto pamene matenda angawononge umphumphu wathu. Anthu ena omwe ali ndi khansara apeza kuti angathe kuthandiza kutembenuza maganizo awo molakwika mwa kubwereza mawu amodzi. Mwachitsanzo, mungafune kuphunzira momwe mungagwiritsire ntchito kusinkhasinkha kwa mantra kuti muthetse nkhawa. Mofananamo, zitsimikizo-zomwe mumanena mobwerezabwereza kuti mupange malingaliro anu osamvetsetseka kuti muwone ngati zinthu zikuwoneka bwino-zingakhale zothandiza.
Dzilimbikitse Yekha mwa Kusangalala ndi Zokhumba Zanu, Zakale ndi Zatsopano
Nchiyani chimakupangitsani kukhala wokondwa? Kodi zilakolako zanu ndi ziti? Pakati pa matenda, maganizo achiwiri, ndi mankhwala, n'zosavuta kuiwala kuti, monga momwe ana anga anganene; "Iwe uli ndi moyo." Tengani kamphindi kuti mutseke maso anu ndi kumbuyo kwanu ku dziko la khansara, ndi kulota zinthu zomwe mungakonde kuchita. Maganizo anu angadabwe nawe. Ngati mukuvutika kuti mudziwonetse nokha kuti mukulakalaka chinthu china, ganiziraninso zaka zingapo za moyo wanu. Kodi mfundo zazikulu ndi ziti? Osati zomwe ziyenera kukhala zofunikira, koma zomwe zinakupangitsani inu chimwemwe chochuluka.
Tsopano ganizirani za zinthu zomwe simunayambe mwachita, koma panthawi inayake mumaganiza kuti mungasangalale. Nchiyani cholakwika ndi kufunafuna chilakolako chatsopano tsopano? Ndiponsotu, mwangophunzira chinenero chatsopano (kuchipatala) ndipo mukuchita nawo gawo lina lamasewero a Sipulo ya Specialist. Zochita zosangalatsa zingakhale zopempha mnzanu wapamtima mtundu wa chilakolako kapena zokondweretsa zomwe amakhulupirira kuti zidzakubweretserani chisangalalo. Kachiwiri mukhoza kudabwa ndi mwamsanga ndi kutayika ndemanga inu anapanga khumi zapitazo koma akhala kalekale kuiŵala; pamodzi ndi maloto.
Ingokuchitirani Icho
Kumanga pamapeto omaliza, kodi pali chinachake choipa (koma chokhazikika ndi chovomerezeka) chomwe mwakhala mukufuna kuchita? Palibe nthawi yabwino kusiyana ndi ino. Chifukwa chomwe mungathe kusewera ndi "khadi la khansara" kuti muchepetse kukana kwanu ndi abwenzi anu ndi abwenzi anu. Ndipotu, ndani angatsutse wodwala khansa? (Muyenera kuyesa njira yanu kupyolera mukukaniza kwanu.) Mungayambe pang'ono. Mwinamwake mwa kulamula kakombo pa menyu, ngakhale mtengo ulibe. Tangolingalirani zosangalatsa zomwe mukuganiza kuti simungachitepo ngati simungadzilole kudzipangira nokha. Chirichonse chimene mungachite, splurge pa inu. Chirichonse chimene mungachite: Basi. Kodi. Icho.
Limbikitsani Kudzikonda Kwako
Kukulitsa kugonana kwanu pamene mukudwala khansa sikukutanthauza kugonana. Izi sizikutanthauza kugonana konse kapena ngakhale ubale. Kwa amai, nchiyani chimakupangitsani kuti muzimverera mwachibadwa? Kodi mumakonda mmene kansalu kofiira usiku kamasangalalira khungu lanu? Kodi mwakhala mukupita kukagulira lingaliro limene limapangitsa kuti khungu lanu liziimba? Chinanso chimakupangitsani kumverera mwachibadwa; mkazi ngati mkazi, kapena mwamuna ngati mwamuna? Kodi pali fungo lapadera? Mwina makandulo? Nyimbo za Afilipi kapena zachi Celtic, kapena mwinamwake zokondedwa zomwe zimachokera kwa mwana wanu komanso zaka zoyambirira zomwe sizingakulepheretseni kudzimva kuti muli achinyamata?
Khansara ndi mankhwala ake angapangitse kuti kugonana kumakhale kovuta nthawi zina, koma ngati mukufuna kusangalala ndi kugonana kwanu / khalidwe lanu, zakhala zikugwirizana. Monga lingaliro lomalizira, ngati mukukumana ndi khansa ngati wosakwatiwa-kapena ngakhale muli wokwati-bwanji mutadzitumiza kalata yachikondi? Ndikutsimikiza kuti pali zinthu zapadera ndi zodabwitsa za inu, mtima wanu ndi malingaliro anu, zomwe mumadziwa. Izo sizingakhoze kupweteka kuti mudzidziwe nokha, mwa kulemba, zingakhoze?
Khalani ndi Gulu la Slumber (Sali Aang'ono Kwa Atsikana) ndi Laugh Lots
Kukula, ndi liti pamene munayankhula za zinsinsi zanu zakuya, maloto aakulu, ndi mantha obisika? Kwa atsikana, mwinamwake mwakhala mukugona maphwando, kapena m'chipinda chanu cha dorm ku koleji. Kwa anyamata, malowa ndi osiyana-mwinamwake mumtunda wa bowling kapena pa golf. Koma chiyanjano, chosachepera chosinthidwa ndi chikhalidwe, ndi chimodzimodzi. Kodi mungasonkhanitse ndani kuti musangalale kapena ngakhale phwando lenileni? Nthawi yomwe mungaseke mpaka soda yanu ituluke mumphuno?
Sitikudziwa kuti munthu angathe bwanji kupyolera mu kansa popanda kusangalala. Kumbukirani kuti zingakhale zofunikira kuti inu muyambe kuseka. Anthu okonda nthawi zambiri amawopa kugawana nawo malingaliro awo komanso zovuta za khansa pokhapokha mutayika siteji. Koma mukachita ... Khansa ndi matenda aakulu, owopsya. Koma nthawi zina kuseketsa pang'ono-komanso makamaka kusekedwa kwathunthu-ndi mankhwala abwino kwambiri omwe ovomerezeka akhoza kulamulira. Sitikusowa malaya apamwamba kuti tidziwe kuti pali chinachake cha mankhwala oseka.
Pezani Silver Linings
Ngakhale panthawi yovuta kwambiri, kawirikawiri zimakhala zingapo zasiliva zasiliva. Kodi mungaganizire za mabwenzi omwe mwakula nawo chifukwa cha matenda anu a khansa, kapena anthu omwe simunakumane nawo? Ndithudi, ife sitinapatsidwa "khansa" kuti tipeze izi zinayi za siliva, ndipo pamene zonse zanenedwa, ine ndikutsimikiza kuti mwina inu simungakhale nawo "mwayi" wofuna ndalama zasiliva. Koma popatsidwa mitambo, bwanji osayang'ana zasiliva? Zidzakupangitsani kusangalala pang'ono.
Bwererani
Ndi munthu yemwe "wakhalapo" akhoza kugwirizana kwambiri ndi khansa ina yowona, ndikuwasiya ndi bulangete la kumverera komwe kumati; "Sindiri ndekha." Ngati mwakhala oposa masabata angapo mukuchiritsidwa, mwinamwake munamva kale kutchulidwa kwa kuyenda kwa masiku atatu kapena ena othandizira ndalama chifukwa cha khansa. Zingakhale zovuta kukwanitsa ngakhale kupita ku bokosi la makalata masiku ena, ndipo ngati mwamva mawu oti "woimira" mwina mwayamba kale kufunafuna phanga lomwe mungabise.
Koma kukhala wotopa kwambiri kuti usayende, kuthamanga, kuzungulira, kukwera kwa thanthwe, kuvina, scrapbook, kapena ngakhale kukonzedwa ndi khansa kungakhale dalitso lapadera palokha. Pambuyo pake, izi, ngakhale zolemekezeka ndi zoyamikirika, sizingakhudze mtima wa munthu wodekha, wamisala, yemwe ali wodzidalira yekha ndikuyenda modzichepetsa pansi pa golosale akuyandikira pafupi. Kuphweka kosavuta. Kudziwa kumwetulira. Kukumbatira mofatsa. Ndikumusiya kuti apitirize kuyenda ndi chida chake chokha. Monga diamondi, zinthu monga izi zomwe zimawoneka zing'onozing'ono zingawoneke mumtima mwa wina yemwe akudwala matendawa kwa nthawi yaitali.
Zotsatira:
American Heart Association. Bwerezani Maganizo Anu. Kusinthidwa 12/18/14.
Cohen, G., ndi D. Sherman. Psychology of change: kudzivomereza nokha ndi kulowerera mmaganizo mwaumoyo. Kukambirana Kwapachaka kwa Psychology . 2014. 65: 333-71.