Zimene Achinyamata Akufuna Kudziwa Pamene Mukulankhula Zokhudza Kugonana

Malangizo kwa Makolo ... Kuchokera Mmene Achinyamata Amaonera

Kaya makolo akufuna kuvomereza kapena ayi, nthawi ina, achinyamata awo ayamba kukambirana za kugonana komanso kuchita nawo. Kodi mukudziwa zomwe mungachite ngati nthawi yoti mukambirane za kugonana ndi mwana wanu? Kafukufuku amasonyeza kuti achinyamata akudziŵa za kugonana ndi kutenga nawo mbali pazaka zing'onozing'ono:

▪ Ambiri mwa ana khumi ndi atatu (13) aliwonse amakhala ndi kugonana.

▪ Ophunzira makumi asanu ndi limodzi mphambu asanu ndi limodzi a ophunzira akusukulu apita kale kugonana.

▪ Gawo la achinyamata onse sakhulupirira kuti kugonana kumalankhula ndi kugonana.

▪ Amayi khumi ndi anayi alionse a kusukulu ya sekondale amanena kuti kale anali ndi abwenzi 4 kapena ambiri ogonana nawo.

▪ Makumi asanu ndi awiri pa zana alionse a achinyamata omwe ali ndi zaka zakubadwa khumi ndi zisanu ndi zisanu ndi zitatu (15-19) akugonana amanena kuti sagwiritsira ntchito njira iliyonse yoberekera nthawi yomwe adagonana.

▪ Achinyamata 20 pa 100 alionse agonana ali ndi zaka 15.

▪ Amayi makumi asanu pa 100 alionse omwe ali ndi zaka 8 mpaka 11 sakudziwa kuti achinyamata awo anayamba kugonana.

▪ Mtsikana mmodzi mwa atsikana asanu aliwonse adzatenga pakati pa sukulu ya sekondale-6.7 peresenti ya atsikana a zaka khumi ndi zisanu ndi zisanu ndi zisanu ndi zitatu (14) adzatenga mimba.

▪ Anthu makumi atatu ndi anayi alionse a sukulu ya sekondale amanena kuti akuchita zogonana (kutanthauza kuti agonana pogonana miyezi itatu yapitayo).

Nchifukwa chiyani ndikofunikira kuti makolo alankhule za kugonana ndi achinyamata awo? Deta ikusonyeza kuti:

▪ Achinyamata oposa 32 pa 100 aliwonse (omwe ali ndi zaka 15-19) amanena kuti sanaphunzire maphunziro apabanja asanafike zaka 18 (zomwe zikuphatikizapo momwe angayankhire kugonana ). Mwa achinyamata omwe analandira malangizo, pafupifupi 60 peresenti ya achinyamatawa sankakhala ndi maphunziro apabanja asanafike kalasi ya 10.

▪ Oposa 50 peresenti ya achinyamata a zaka khumi ndi zisanu ndi ziwiri (10-15) amanena kuti ngati akuganiza zogonana ndi / kapena kufunafuna kutsogoleredwa kuti athe kugonana, amayamba kufuna kulankhula ndi makolo awo.

▪ Amayi okha 31.7 peresenti ndi 51.7 peresenti ya atsikana (zaka 15-17) adakambirana njira zothandizira kubereka ndi kholo pomwe 75.8 peresenti ya anyamata achinyamata ndi 60.7 peresenti ya atsikana atsikana amanena kuti makolo awo sanalankhule nawo komwe angabereke kulamulira.

▪ makumi asanu ndi atatu mphambu asanu ndi atatu pa zana aliwonse a zaka 15-17 omwe sanagonepo ndipo 56% mwa iwo omwe adagonana adanena kuti sadayankhule ndi makolo awo momwe angadziwire kuti mwakonzekera kugonana.

▪ Pafupifupi 50.1 peresenti ya amayi aamuna amanena kuti sachita chilichonse choletsa mimba.

▪ Amayi makumi asanu ndi atatu mphambu zisanu ndi anayi (9) aliwonse achinyamata khumi ndi awiri (12) aliwonse amatha kunena kuti zingakhale zosavuta kuchepetsa kugonana ndikupewa kutenga mimba ngati atha kukambirana momasuka ndi nkhaniyi ndi makolo awo.

Khulupirirani kapena ayi, makolo ali ndi chidziwitso chofunikira kwambiri ngati ali ndi pakati kapena ayi. Ngakhale kuti simungathe kulamulira kugonana kwa mwana wanu, ubwino wa ubale wanu ndi mwana wanu umatha kusintha. Deta imasonyeza kuti achinyamata omwe ali pafupi ndi makolo awo ndipo amathandizidwa ndi iwo amatha kupewa kugonana, kuyembekezera mpaka atakula kuti ayambe kugonana, akhale ndi zibwenzi zochepa zogonana komanso agwiritse ntchito njira zoberekera mosavuta. Uthenga-musati mulindire kulankhula za kugonana ndi mwana wanu. Yambani kukambirana izi mwamsanga-ndi kubwereza nthawi zambiri. Mwanjira imeneyi, mwana wanu amamva bwino kulankhula zakugonana ndi inu.

Kotero, mumalankhula bwanji za kugonana ndi mwana wanu? Kodi muyenera kukambirana chiyani? Zotsatirazi ndizo zomwe achinyamata amanena kuti amafuna makolo awo kuti adziwe pankhani ya kugonana:

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Achinyamata Ali ndi Mafunso
Achinyamata Akufunsa Mafunso Okhudza Kugonana. 101cats / Getty Images

Kwa achinyamata ambiri, kulingalira za kugonana kapena kudziwa mabwenzi ogonana kungakhale kovuta, koopsa komanso koopsa. Kungakhale koyamba kuti mwana wanu aganizire zovuta zazikulu, monga kusonyeza udindo wopewa kutenga mimba yosakonzekere -kudziwa ngati zingakhale bwino ndi kuchotsa mimba , kukhala kholo , kapena kuganiza kuti mwanayo alowe. Achinyamata amakopeka ndi kukakamizidwa ndi anzanu kuchokera kwa anzanu, ofalitsa, mabuku, nyimbo, magazini ndi masewera a pakompyuta. Ndikofunika kukambirana nawo za kugonana, ngakhale ngati sakufunsa mafunso. Achinyamata amafuna kuthandizidwa ndi kuwatsogolera kumvetsetsa nkhani ndi tanthauzo la kugonana. Akhoza kuchita manyazi kapena kuopa kubwera kwa inu kuti awathandize, choncho yesetsani kuwapereka kwa iwo mmalo mwake. Tangoganizani kuti ali ndi mafunso ndi kukhala gwero lodalirika omwe angapereke mayankho.

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Achinyamata Amasamalira
Malangizo a Makolo: Kusamalira Achinyamata. Hinterhaus Productions / Getty Images

Ngakhale mwana wanu atakhala kuti sakudziwa kapena kukuuzani choncho, achinyamata amaoneka kuti amasamala zomwe makolo awo amawauza. Choncho, kaya amachita kapena ayi, mwana wanu amafuna (ndipo akusowa) malangizo anu. Mwana wanu akufuna kukukondweretsani ndikukuchititsani kunyada.

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Ayenera Kukhala Okonzekera
Achinyamata Ayenera Kukhala Okonzekera. Jeff Fusco / Stringer / Getty Images

Ndikofunika kuti muyankhule za kugonana, kulera ndi kulandira matenda opatsirana pogonana ndi mwana wanu. Achinyamata amafunika kumvetsetsa mmene thupi lachikazi limagwirira ntchito komanso mmene mimba imachitikira. Ngati mwana wanu akugonana, akuyenera kukhala ndi chidziwitso choyenera cha momwe angatenge mimba ndi kutenga matenda opatsirana pogonana. Ngakhale mwana wanu sakuchita zachiwerewere, iye adzakhala nthawi inayake moyo wake. Kodi mungapangitse mwana wanu kuti adzalandire uthenga wolondola kuchokera kwa inu kapena kudalira zowona zabodza / zabodza kuchokera kwa anzanu?

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Ubale Wodalirika ndi Wowona Mtima
Gawani Zochita ndi Achinyamata Anu. Thomas Barwick / Getty Images

Achinyamata amafuna zitsanzo zabwino, akuluakulu. Amafunika kuwona kuti maubwenzi odalirika amawoneka bwanji. Mukagawana ntchito ndi mwana wanu komanso kusonyeza chisamaliro cha makolo, achinyamata angakhudzidwe bwino. Umoyo wa banja lanu umagwirizananso ndi chiopsezo cha mimba ya atsikana. Achinyamata amene amalera m'banja lopweteka, mabanja omwe ali ndi banja limodzi kapena / kapena umphaŵi amakhala okhudzana kwambiri ndi kugonana. Ganizirani kupanga chiyanjano pakati pa inu ndi mwana wanu, ndipo muwaphunzitse njira zoyenera zomwe zingathandize kupewa kukhumudwitsa kapena kukhumudwitsa ena.

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Musapite Kuwerenga Ponena za Kusasiya
Musangolankhula Zokhudza Kudziletsa. Chithunzi © Dawn Stacey

Ngakhale ndikofunikira kufotokozera momveka bwino zomwe mukuyembekezera komanso zomwe mumayamikira mwana wanu, achinyamata amafuna zambiri . Kafukufuku amasonyeza kuti kuyankhula zokhudzana ndi kubadwa komanso kudziletsa nthawi imodzi sikungayambitse chisokonezo kapena mauthenga osakaniza. Achinyamata atero-pokhala ndi zokambiranazi, mukupereka ulemu kwa mwana wanu. Mukhozanso kugwiritsa ntchito nthawiyi ndikuuza mwana wanu momwe mumamvera mukamamvera zomwe akunena.

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Mimba Yabwino Siyabwino
Mimba Yakuyamwitsa - Yozizira? MTV

Ocheperapo theka la achinyamata onse amavomereza kuti akupeza uthenga womveka wosonyeza kuti mimba yosakonzekera ndi yolakwika. Zikuwoneka kuti asilimonse 71 mwa anyamata achichepere ndi 64 peresenti ya atsikana amavomereza kapena agwirizana kwambiri kuti ndi bwino kuti mkazi wosakwatira akhale ndi mwana. Chochititsa mantha kwambiri, ndi 58 peresenti ya anyamata achichepere komanso 47 peresenti ya anyamata aang'ono adanena kuti adzakwiya kwambiri atatenga mimba (kapena ali ndi pakati). Ndipotu, atsikana 14 peresenti ndi 18 peresenti ya anyamatawo amasonyeza kuti adzasangalala ngati atakhala ndi pakati (kapena atenga mimba). Deta ngati izi zikusonyeza kuti achinyamata sangavomereze kuti kutenga mimba kumabwino kungakhale kovuta-koma 12 peresenti ya anyamata achinyamata adanena kuti sakufuna kugonana chifukwa ankaopa kutenga mtsikana.

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Khalani tcheru
Dziwani Amene Mabwenzi Anu Achinyamata Ali. Mark Mawson / Getty Images

Dziwani kuti kuyang'anira ndi kuyang'anira khalidwe la mwana wanu kumapangitsa kusiyana. Samalani ndi kukhala nawo. Phunzirani omwe abwenzi awo ali. Musamakhulupirire kuti mungadziwe kuti mwana wanu akuchita chiwerewere-makolo ambiri samatero. Onetsetsani kuti nthawi zonse muwonetseni chidwi ndi chikondi kwa mwana wanu ndipo musangomangoyembekezera kuti mwana wanu asamachite zoipa. Komanso, samverani mwachidwi mwana wanu ngati ali ndi mchimwene wake wachikulire yemwe ali ndi chibwenzi chokwanira pa nthawiyi ali ndi chizoloŵezi chogonana ali wamng'ono.

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Musaganize kuti Akuchita Izo
Musaganize kuti Akugonana. Peter Beavis / Getty Images

Zonse zikadzanenedwa ndikuchitidwa, achinyamata amafunika kudziwa zolondola, kotero angathe kupanga zisankho zolondola. Ngati mwana wanu atabwera kudzakufunsani zambiri zokhudza chithandizo cha kulera komanso kugonana, musangoganiza kuti akugonana. Makolo ambiri amavomereza kuti angasankhe kuti mwana wawo akhalebe wosabisa, koma izi sizikutanthauza kuti achinyamata sakudziwa za kugonana. Yankhani mafunso a mwana wanu popanda kuweruza. Kumbukirani kuti kudziletsa-kugonana ndi amuna okhaokha sikungathandize achinyamata kuti azigonana pokhapokha pokhapokha ngati akudziletsa kuti azigonana. Choncho musagwere mumsampha wokhulupirira kuti kukambirana za kugonana ndi mwana wanu kumalimbikitsa chiwerewere.

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Ubale Wosafunika
Kodi Mwana Wanu Ali Ndi Ubwenzi Woipa ?. Lawrence Manning / Getty Images

Achinyamata angafunikire kuthandizidwa kuti adziwe ngati ali mu ubale wosayenera kapena wopweteka. Akhoza kuona ngati ali ndi chizindikiro chosonyeza kuti chibwenzi chawo chimawakonda kwambiri moti nthawi zonse amafuna kukhala nawo. Maubwenzi achichepere omwe ali ndi zibwenzi zakale kapena kusiyana pakati pa mtundu, fuko, zochitika zachuma, etc., zimagwirizanitsidwa ndi kugwiritsa ntchito njira zochepetsera. Izi ndizomwe zili choncho ngati mwana wanu sakudziwa bwino kwambiri mnzawo. Zingakhale zovuta kwa mwana wanu kuti akambirane za kugonana komanso / kapena kugwiritsa ntchito njira zoberekera ngati akudwala. Achinyamata amafunikanso kuchenjezedwa za ngozi zomwe zingakhalepo pa intaneti.

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Palibe Amene Amafuna Kulankhula Zokhudza Kugonana
"Kugonana". Chithunzi Chajambula / Getty Images

Tikayang'ane nazo, makolo ambiri amaopa kukambirana za kugonana ndi achinyamata awo, ndipo achinyamata samayang'anitsitsa zokambirana za kugonana. Mukayambitsa zokambiranazi pamene ana anu ali aang'ono, ndi zosavuta kuwonjezera pa zokambiranazi pamene ana anu akukula. Nthawi zonse mukamayankhula za kugonana, ziyenera kukhala zokambirana osati phunziro. Ngakhale kuti simungamve bwino, mwana wanuyo akunyalanyaza, choncho chitani zonse zomwe mungathe kuti azikhala omasuka komanso olemekezeka. Limbikitsani mwana wanu kuti afunse mafunso ndikukambirana maganizo awo. Mulimonsemo, ntchito ya kholo ndi kukonzekera ana awo kuti akhale akuluakulu. Mbali ya udindo umenewu ndikuthandiza mwana wanu kuti aphunzire momwe angapangire zosankha zogonana ndi zotetezeka.