Kodi ndi liti pamene munapezeka kuti muli m "mene munayesetsa kuteteza malo, kupambana, ndikumva chisoni? Zitha kukhala ndi bwenzi, bwenzi, mamembala kapena munthu amene mumamupatsa. Inde, "mudapambana" ndipo mumakhulupirira kuti kulimbana kumeneku kunali kolungama malinga ndi malamulo ena, malamulo, kapena malingaliro a "chilungamo." Komabe pali malingaliro amenewo, ngati zomwe ndinachita zinali zabwino, bwanji ndikukumva chisoni?
Kuzindikira kwa Tibetan za vutoli kumayikidwa m'mawu akale akuti, "Iwe ukhoza kuponya malasha otentha pa mdani wako, koma iwe ukuwotcha manja ako kuchita izo." Mwambi uwu umayankhula chimodzi mwa mavuto akuluakulu ndi kukangana: mtengo wa kupambana . Ganizirani za nkhondo yanu yomaliza yomwe munapambana. "Kodi mumakumbukira zokoma zokhazokha, kapena mwatsalira ndi zotsatira zovulaza za mdani wanu?
Kwa anthu ambiri amene adakumanapo ndi mkangano waukulu pomwe adagonjetsa, palikumverera kokhumudwitsa komwe nthawi zambiri mtengo wa kupambana unali wapamwamba kwambiri kwa iwo kapena munthu amene anagonjetsa.
Kodi Kulimbana N'kosapeweka?
Makhalidwe amapezeka mu chisamaliro komwe kumawoneka kuti kukangana sikungapeweke. Wopereka chisamaliro ali ndi lingaliro laling'ono la momwe chisamaliro chiyenera kuchitikira, koma munthu amene akusamaliridwa ali ndi mawonekedwe osiyana . Vuto limabuka pamene mkangano ukuganiziridwa ngati masewera a zero: Ngati munthu mmodzi apambana winayo ayenera kutayika.
Ndinali ndi kasitomala amene kusamalira mwamuna wake kunali kovuta ndi mavuto. Asanayambe kupweteka mtima, iye anali bwino kwambiri, mnzake wosagwirizana. Poipa kwambiri, mwamuna kapena mkazi wake amakhumudwa kwambiri. Asanayambe kupweteka mtima, pamene mkangano pakati pawo sunasokonezeke, nthawi zonse amatha kuchokapo-chinachake chimene chinachitika nthawi zambiri.
Zinthu zinasintha atapwetekedwa mtima. Popeza kuti tsopano anali wolumala kwambiri, anasiya kusokoneza mgwirizano sizinatheke chifukwa mwamuna wake ankafuna kusamalidwa nthawi zonse ndipo panalibire ndalama zoti azilembera osowa ntchito.
Ngakhale pamene iye anatsimikiziridwa kutsimikiziridwa pambuyo pa kukangana, iye anali womvetsa chisoni. Ndipo pokakamizika kumangowonjezera kukhumudwa kwake chifukwa chosakhala ndi ulamuliro pa moyo wake. Mu comedy, Moyo wa Brian , ukufuna kukhala Zigonjetsi pa akavalo olingalira akukumana ndi kalulu wakupha. Mtsogoleri akufuula, "Thawani, thawani." Amene angathe kusamuka mwamsanga. Zomwe sizinadyedwe ndi kalulu.
Omwe akusamalira ambiri amamva ngati a nkhondo ya Monty Python omwe sangathe kuthamanga mofulumira. Kusamvana kwa iwo, kawirikawiri kumawoneka ngati masewera a zero omwe zosowa zawo kapena zosowa zawo zimakhutitsidwa, koma osati zonse ziwiri . Ngakhale pamene zosowa za osowa zosowa zimakwaniritsidwa, kudzimva kukhala wolakwa kumawonjezeka pamene akukhulupirira zosowa za wokondedwa wawo zakhala zikuphatikizidwa.
Kusankha Pakati pa Mayankho
Nthaŵi zambiri timapezeka kuti tili pamtendere pamene palibe "njira yabwino" , koma timakakamizika kusankha pakati pa awiri kapena kupweteka kwambiri. Ndi mtundu wa vuto lomwe limakhala ndi matenda aakulu kapena ovuta . Sikuti ngati osamalira akusankha pakati pa Mac Mac ndi chakudya pa malo odyera a Michelin nyenyezi zitatu.
M'malo mwake, zosankha zili zofanana ndi kusankha khofi pa 7-11 kapena Quick Stop pamene malo ogulitsa khofi sakupezeka.
Izi ndi zomwe zinalipo kwa wosamalira amene anasankha pakati pa njira ziwiri zoperekera mankhwala opweteka kwa wokondedwa wake. Zonsezi zikhoza kupweteka. Kotero wosamalirayo anayenera kusankha chomwe chinali chopweteka kwambiri, osati zomwe zinali zabwino kwambiri. Si kusiyana kwa chiwonetsero, komabe pali kusiyana kwa maganizo. Ngati mukufuna "zabwino," mungakhale mukunyalanyaza zomwe zingatheke.
Zosankha zokhudzana ndi mikangano zimagwiritsidwa ntchito pogwiritsa ntchito zomwe zimawoneka ngati zoyenera, monga, zoona, zolungama, kapena zolondola.
Zotsatirazi zimamangiriridwa ku ziyembekezo za momwe ife ndi ena tiyenera "kumverera." Mwachitsanzo, ndiyenera kumveketsa momwe mkazi wanga samayamikirira, kapena ndiyenera kumverera ngati wachibale wanga akundiuza momwe ndiyenera kumusiya mwamuna.
Nthawi zina, kukhala wolungama, woona mtima, kapena wolungama sikubweretsa chisangalalo chomwe amaganiza kuti chidzakhalapo mwa "kupambana" mkangano. Pali nthawi yomwe mumakhala osamala ngati ndi bwino kubwerera mmbuyo m'malo mogonana.
Malangizo Othandizira Kuthetsa Mikangano
Kawirikawiri sitimaganizira chifukwa chake tikusankhira mkangano. Ndipo pamene titachita, nthawi zambiri zimangotsala pang'ono kumenyana, kapena panthawiyi. Njira yovuta imeneyi ndi yochepa kuposa yabwino. Mmalo modalira mwadzidzidzi kuti musankhe pa zomwe muti muchite kapena kunena, ndizotheka kukonzekera pasadakhale. Nazi malangizo atatu omwe mungagwiritse ntchito.
1. Sankhani Pa Zolinga
Nthaŵi zambiri pa "nkhondo," timaiwala kuika patsogolo zolinga zathu. Titha kukhala ndi lingaliro losamvetsetseka lomwe liri lofunikira kapena liri ndi mndandanda wa zolinga zomwe sizinali zachilendo. Kuyesera kuwathetsa pankhondoyi kuli kovuta ngati sizingatheke chifukwa "zochita" nthawi zambiri zimapanga chiweruzo .
Cholinga chimodzi chomwe chimayambitsa mavuto ochuluka ndichofunika kukhala woona mtima. Ndapereka uphungu kwa osamalira omwe amanyadira kukhulupirika kwawo kwa moyo wawo ndi wokondedwa wawo, amene tsopano akulimbana ndi zotsatira za kukhala woona mtima. Mwachidziwitso, lingaliro lakuti "kuwona mtima ndilo ndondomeko yabwino kwambiri" limveka zomveka ndipo ndilo maziko a kuyanjanirana kokhulupirika. Koma kodi ndizofunika kwambiri pazochitika zonse?
Zomwe mungachite: Pamene mukuyesa zosankha zomwe muli nazo kumayambiriro kwa kusamvana, khalani patsogolo pa zomwe mukufunikira: kupambana, mtendere, chifundo, ndi zina. Mukamagwiritsa ntchito izi ngati mfundo yoyendetsera ntchito, zosankha zanu zikhoza kuwoneka bwino.
2. Kodi Maganizo a Kulimbana Ndi Chiyani?
Tikhoza kudzipepesa tikamakangana. Nthaŵi zambiri timanyalanyaza mtengo umene timakhala nawo chifukwa chotsutsana ndi kupambana. Izi zinali choncho ndi mkazi yemwe mwamuna wake anali pachiyambi cha Alzheimer's. Iye anaumiriza kuti mwamuna wake azisunga miyezo yofanana ya ukhondo yomwe iye anali nayo asanayambe kuvutika maganizo. Kuumirira kwake pa zoyenera, miyezo yoyenera kugwiritsira ntchito matendawa inali ndi zotsatira ziwiri. Kumapeto kwa tsikuli, adatopa atayang'anitsitsa makhalidwe a mwamuna wake kwa maola 16. Chifukwa chachiwiri chinali chakuti mwamuna wake adanyozedwa podziwa kuti sakanatha kugwira ntchito monga momwe adachitira asanayambe.
Panali zochepa zokondweretsa zomwe zimapangitsa kuti mwamuna wake akhale "woyera." Zonsezi zidakhala zomvetsa chisoni mpaka wofuna chithandizo atasiya cholinga cha ukhondo weniweni. Chifukwa chokhala wovuta kwambiri, mwamuna wake anayamba kumasuka ndipo amavomereza kuti akuvutika kwambiri. Kwa mkaziyo, miyezo yatsopanoyi yowonjezera imamupangitsa kuti asamapanikizike kwambiri ndipo motero amakhala wothandizira komanso wothandiza kwambiri.
Zomwe mungachite: Mukasankha kapena ngati simukugwirizana, ganizirani za mtengo wapatali kwa inu ndi wokondedwa wanu. "Kugonjetsa," ngakhale pa nkhani yovuta, sikungamveke kuti zimakhala zotani.
3. Ndi njira iti yomwe ingakhale yabwino kwambiri?
Mwaika patsogolo zolinga zanu ndikuyesa mtengo wolimbana. Tsopano ndi nthawi yosankha njira yothandiza kwambiri . Mwamuna wa munthu amene ali ndi chithandizo chamtima mwachangu akudya kwambiri madzi nthawi imodzi. Chotsatiracho chinawonjezeka edema, matenda omwe adokotala ake adawachenjeza. Mkazi wake atamufunsa dokotala momwe angatulutsire madzi ake, dokotalayo akuti adzichita "basi." Osati mtundu wa malangizo othandiza posankha njira.
Pofuna kuthetsa vutolo, anatenga botolo la madzi ndikuliika mu ndalama zowonjezera, malinga ndi zomwe adokotala amadya. Kenako adagwiritsa ntchito chiwerengero cha dokotala tsiku lililonse kuti azindikire kuchuluka kwa mabotolo omwe mwamuna wake angadye tsiku lililonse. Iye tsopano anali ndi njira yowonjezera kuti achepetse kudya kwake m'malo modalira kuthetsa vuto lake lakumwa.
Zomwe mungachite: Kusankha njira yothandiza kwambiri nthawi zambiri kumakhala kovuta kuposa chitsanzo chapamwamba. Mu chisamaliro, nthawi zambiri timafunika kupeza njira zochepetsera zomwe timachita. Musawope kusiya njira yanu ngati sakugwira ntchito.
Kutsiliza
"Kugonjetsa," nthawi zambiri kumaganiziridwa ngati cholinga chachikulu cha mkangano, ngakhale kuti kukangana kukuphatikizapo ping-pong yokondana kapena kusankha purezidenti. Anthu ena amakhulupirira kuti popanda kukangana, moyo ukanakhala wosasangalatsa. Ngakhale kuti anthu ena akhoza kupanga miyoyo yawo pogwiritsa ntchito kufunika kokhala pamwamba, ndizovuta kwa osamalira ambiri.
Panali nthawi mu ndale za ku America pamene anthu amanyengerera ndipo chikhalidwe chawo chimaganiziridwa kukhala zolinga zoyenera. Tsopano, onse awiri akuonedwa ngati kuchotsedwa kwa mfundo. Chikhulupiliro chonsechi chatenga zinthu zambiri za ubale osati ndale, kuphatikizapo kusamalira.
Kumangiriza malo amtheradi mu chisamaliro kumakhala kovuta kuti anthu azivutika m'malo molimbikitsana. Kotero nthawi yotsatira mukangoyamba kukangana, dzifunseni nokha: 1) Cholinga changa chosamalira ndi chani? 2) Kodi zochita zanga zidzanditaya bwanji ndi munthu amene ndikumuganizira? 3) Ndi njira iti yabwino yogwiritsira ntchito pokwaniritsa cholinga changa?
Kupereka chithandizo choyenera kumapangidwira kwambiri pa "masewera a moyo" osati m "azungu" kapena "wakuda." Pogwiritsa ntchito njira zitatuzi musanayambe kutsutsana, mudzapeza kuti makhalidwe ambiri osakondweretsa omwe amayamba chifukwa cha mikangano angakhale kuchepetsa.