Mawu akuti "kulola kupita" akhala otchuka m'zaka zaposachedwapa, koma kodi kukhululukirana ndi kulola kupita kumaimira munthu amene ali ndi khansa? Nchifukwa chiyani timapsa mtima ndi kukwiya ndi mantha, ndipo zotsatira zake ndi zotani? Ndipo mungatani kuti mukhale ndi maganizo amenewa komanso kuti mutha kukhala ndi moyo wathanzi?
Kodi Kumatanthauza Chiyani Kukhululuka ndi Kuleka?
Kulola kupita ndi kukhululukira sikukutanthauza kusiya.
Sichikutanthawuza kuika maganizo ochepa pa chithandizo chanu. Sikutanthauza kuti ndibwino ngati wina wakukhumudwitsani. Zimangotanthauza kusiya maganizo olakwika omwe mungakhale nawo omwe sangaperekepo ndipo angathe kuchotsa, kuti mutha kukhala ndi moyo. Zimatanthawuza kutchula dzina, ndikumasula zakuya, mkwiyo, ndi zokwiya kuti mukhale omasuka kuti mukhale ndi maganizo abwino. Ngakhale kuti chikhululuko ndi sitepe polekerera, sizikutanthauza kuiwala zolakwa zanu zakale kapena kusiya njira zomwe mwakhumudwitsidwa ndi zochita za ena. Zimangotanthauza kuti musayesere ndikupitiriza kuchita zolakwitsa zanu zapachiyambi ndi kunyozedwa kwa ena mwa njira yomwe imawatsogolera patsogolo pa malingaliro anu ngati kuti zikuchitika lero. Mwa njira iyi, chikhululuko ndi machiritso.
N'chifukwa Chiyani Timagwiritsira Ntchito Mogwirizana ndi Zowawa Komanso Zoopsa?
Ngati mkwiyo ndi kusungira chakukhosi sizikhala ndi cholinga m'miyoyo yathu ndipo zimatipweteka, bwanji timapweteka kwambiri ndikumva chisoni?
Nthawi zina ndichifukwa chakuti sitinadziwe za mantha ndi mkwiyo. Nthawi zina maganizo amenewa amadziwika kuti ndife enieni. Koma nthawi zina timamatira ku zowawa zathu mwachinyengo, maganizo omwe amati, "Iwe wapambana, ndiwe munthu wamtengo wapatali ndikufotokozera njira zomwe wanyalanyaza ndi kuvulazidwa zimatsimikizira kufunika kwako." Mwamwayi, pali njira, kupitirira kusunga mkwiyo ndi mkwiyo zomwe zingakukumbutseni kuti maganizo anu ndi ofunika.
Zotsatira Zopanda Kuleka
Ngakhale pali kutsutsana pa zotsatira za mkwiyo ndi ukali zomwe zimakhudza kufala kwa khansa, chinthu chimodzi chikuwonekera; kutenga nthawi yokonzanso mkwiyo ndi sitima zimapweteka nthawi yamtengo wapatali miyoyo yathu - kaya zikutanthauza masiku 9 kapena 90. Kodi mukanatani, kapena mukusangalala, m'malo mwake mumadzazidwa ndi nthawi imene mumakwiya ndi kupweteka?
Ngati wina wakukhumudwitsani, kodi mukufunadi kumupatsa munthu ora limodzi la moyo wanu pamene mukukhalanso moyo; kodi kwenikweni kutembenuzira mphamvu yanu kwa wolakwira? Ngati mkwiyo wanu umakhudzana ndi zosankha zanu zosauka, kodi zingakuthandizeni, kapena wina aliyense, kudzilanga nokha nthawi ina? Mwinamwake ayi. Kusiya kupita sikungapangitse kuti mupulumutsidwe, koma zichita chinthu chimodzi. Idzakumasulani kuti mugwiritse ntchito maola omwe mwasiya kuti muchite chinachake chomwe chimamveka bwino m'malo mwake.
Kodi Zinthu Zingachitike Bwanji ndi Khansa Yofuna Kutuluka?
Mwinamwake mukudziwa kuti pali zinthu zomwe muyenera kusiya, koma simukudziwa kumene mungayambe. Nawa malingaliro ena. Mutha kuleka kupita:
- Chirichonse chomwe chimayamba ndi mawu akuti: "Bwanji ngati ...."
- Chilichonse chomwe chimaphatikizapo ndi mawu "angakhale, akana, ndipo ayenera kukhala."
- Mkwiyo pamene mumapezeka. Mwinamwake mwafunsa kuti: "Chifukwa chiyani ine?" Mwinamwake inu munayamba mwadzidzidzidwa, kapena matenda anu anachedwa. Mungakhumudwe ndi momwe kansalu yasokoneza malingaliro anu, ndikukumva chisoni ndi zizindikiro ndi zotsatira za khansa yanu ndi mankhwala a kansa.
- Kulamulira maubwenzi anu. Zakhala zanenedwa kuti chinthu chimodzi chomwe chiri chokhazikika ndi khansa, ndi kusintha. Ubale nthawi zambiri umasintha pambuyo pa matenda a khansa. Mwinamwake mumakhumudwa ndi kukwiya ndi munthu amene mumamuona ngati mnzanu wapamtima, koma mnzanuyo amatha kutayika pambuyo pokudziwani; inatha panthawi yomwe mumasowa thandizo kuposa kale lonse. Kapena, mosiyana, mwinamwake mumamva kuti mumasokonezedwa kapena kuwamvera chisoni ndi ena.
Njira 10 Zokukhululukirani ndi Kulola Kuti Mukhale ndi Moyo
Chabwino - ndibwino kuti musiye. Koma kodi mumayamba kuti? Ngati mwakonzeka kuchotsa katundu wolemera, yesetsani izi.
- Tchuleni - Choyamba chofunika kuti mutuluke ndikuzindikira mkwiyo, mantha, nkhawa, ndi mkwiyo. Mpaka mutatchula zomwe zili pakati pa inu ndi chimwemwe ndi zovuta kuzikwaniritsa, ndipo mukhoza kukhala ndi maganizo osadziwika. Kuyang'ana pa mndandanda wa kumverera mawu pansipa kungakuthandizeni kufotokozera zomwe mumamva, ndiyeno kuyang'ana pa chifukwa cha maganizo amenewo. Mwachitsanzo, kodi mukuchita manyazi, kudzimvera chisoni, kupsa mtima, kukhumudwa, kukhumudwa kapena kuphatikizapo maganizo angapo?
- Ganizirani Zolemba - Kulemba nyuzipepala kungakhale njira yabwino kwambiri yofotokozera ndikufotokozera zinthu zomwe zikudya pa iwe. Izi zanenedwa, ndikofunika kugwiritsa ntchito journaling kuti mufotokoze ndikugwirizanitsa malingaliro anu, osati monga njira yowunikira njira zomwe mwakhumudwa nazo.
- Ganizirani - Chilichonse chokhumudwitsa chomwe mwalandira kapena chochita, mwinamwake mumakhala ndi moyo nthawi zambiri. Tengani mphindi yomaliza kuti muwerenge ndikuganiziranso pazinthu zomwe zakukhumudwitsani. Yesetsani kumverera bwino, pamene mukukonzekeretsa kuti apite.
- Dziwonetseni nokha - Kuwonetsa malingaliro anu olakwika ndi njira yovomerezera iwo nokha, ndipo nthawi zina kwa ena. Izi zikutanthawuza kuyankhula mokweza, mwina kulira, ndipo mwinamwake kufuula pang'ono. Anthu ena amakonda kufotokoza maganizo awo mwa kulemba. Ngati wina wakukhumudwitsani, mungafune kulemba kalata, kapena, ngati munthuyo sakhala wochezeka, lembani kalata imene simumawatumizira. Ngati muli ndi mkwiyo wambiri mungakonde kufotokoza maganizo anu papepala, ndiyeno muipsere kapena muwotche. Tikamazunzidwa (kapena zomwe timakhulupirira kuti ndi zosalungama) nthawi zambiri timakhala ndi chikhumbo cholimba chokumana ndi yemwe watipweteka ndikupempha kupepesa. Izi zikachitika, zingakhale zovuta kudziwa nthawi yolankhulirana, ndi nthawi yoti mukhale chete. Funso limene mungadzifunse musanayambe kukumana ndi mnzanu kapena membala wanu ndi awa: "Kodi ndikofunikira kuti ndikhale wolondola kapena wokonda?" (N'kofunikanso kuzindikira kuti anthu ena monga omwe kale ankatchedwa kuti narcissistic disorder, samayankha bwino kumenyana, ndipo mmalo mwa kupepesa akhoza kupweteka kwambiri kuti ateteze machitidwe awo osalimba-osati zomwe mukufunikira pakulimbana ndi khansa .)
- Khululukirani - Mwinamwake chovuta kwambiri pakulola kupita ndi chikhululuko. Nthawi zina mungafune kukhululukira munthu wina, koma nthawi zina ndi nokha muyenera kukhululukira. Kukhululukira sikukutanthauza kuiwala kapena kulola ena kupitiriza kukupwetekani mwanjira iliyonse. Sichikutanthauza kuti chinachake chomwe chakuchitikirani ndi chabwino. M'malo mwake, zikutanthauza kuti mukukana kuvomereza zovuta zilizonse zomwe mumadzichitira nokha kapena ena kuti mupitirize kukupwetekani mwa kuwononga chimwemwe chanu lero. Mwa kukhululukira iwo amene akukupweteketsani inu, mumabweza mphamvu yanu. Kukhululukira kumatanthauza kuti mumakana kupereka mphamvu zanu kwa wina yemwe wakukhumudwitsani. Kukhululuka ndi machiritso.
- Pangani Zosintha - Kodi pali wina aliyense m'moyo wanu amene amakusungirani chakukhosi? Ngati ndi choncho, zimenezo sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuwapempha kuti akhululukidwe. Koma kwa okondedwa anu ndi abwenzi omwe mumamva kuti muli otetezeka kuyankhula-omwe, makamaka, akukhululukira anthu enieni-ganizirani kubweretsa vuto (kamodzi) ndikupempha chikhululuko. Zingadabwe kuti pempho losavuta lakhululukiro lingachepetse mitima.
- Fufuzani ndi kuyang'ana Zina za Siliva ndi Zophunzira - Pali kawiri kawiri kachitidwe ka kuyang'ana pazochitika zilizonse. Kukonzanso zamalingaliro ndi njira yowonera zochitika mwanjira yina-njira yosinthira malingaliro anu. Mwachitsanzo, mmalo molira tsitsi lanu pa mankhwala a chemotherapy, mungathe kuyankhula zabwino kuti musameta ndekha miyezi ingapo. Nthawi zina kubwezera kumafuna kusintha mawu, mwachitsanzo, mmalo mowona chinthu chowopsya, mukhoza kuchiwona ngati chovuta. Kufunafuna ndalama zowonjezera ndi njira ina yowonera mkhalidwe womwewo koma ndikuupeza mosiyana. Mwachitsanzo, mmalo moganizira zomwe mwasiya pa nthawi ya chithandizo cha khansa, mungaganize za mabwenzi omwe simungapange sizinali chifukwa cha matenda anu a khansa. Ngakhale ngati reframing sizingatheke ndipo mukuvutika kuti mupeze ndalama zasiliva, mungafunike kuganizira za maphunziro omwe mwaphunzira pomwe mukukumva ululu wa ena kapena nokha. Zochitika zambiri m'miyoyo yathu, ngakhale zopweteka, zimatiphunzitsa maphunziro ofunikira. Ngati mwakhumudwa, mwakhala mukuchita chiyani kuti muvulaze?
- Sinkhasinkha, Pempherani, Kapena Kulumikizana ndi Chilengedwe - Kuuzimu kungathandize kwambiri potulutsa mkwiyo ndi mantha. Anthu ena amapeza chitonthozo poyenda kunja kwa chilengedwe. Ena amapeza chitonthozo m'pemphero, pamene ena amasankha kusinkhasinkha , kupuma kwakukulu, kapena kupanga luso. Kulolera nokha nthawi yamtendere pamene mwasankha kupanga chisankho chosiya mkwiyo ndi mkwiyo kumakulolani inu kuti mutenge njira zotsatirazi kuti mukakhale mosangalala panthawiyi.
- Dziwonetseni nokha pa Mtendere - Ngati mwakhala mukuwonetsera masomphenya mwinamwake mwawona momwe chizolowezichi chingakhalire champhamvu.
- Pewani mkwiyo wanu ndi mantha ndi zinthu zina - Osati mkwiyo wokha womwe mumakonzekera ena ndikumwa nokha, monga momwe mawuwo akusonyezera, koma mkwiyo ndi mkwiyo zikhoza kudzaza nthawi zamtengo wapatali zomwe zingagwiritsidwe ntchito china chirichonse. Taganizirani za moyo wanu; kodi mungakonde kuchita chiyani kuti simunakhale nayo nthawi? Ngati mutagwiritsa ntchito nthawi yomwe mumakhalamo nthawi zina mumapweteka kuchita chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe mungachite kuti mukhale osangalala?
Bwerezani monga mukufunikira.
Zotsatira Zotsatira
Ngakhale mutatha kugwiritsira ntchito nkhani zomwe zapangitsa mkwiyo ndi kupsyinjika m'mbuyomo, nthawi zina mumakhala zovuta zowonongeka, ndipo pokhala anthu, padzakhala "zatsopano" zomwe zimayambitsa mkwiyo m'miyoyo yathu. Ngati ndikanatchula chinthu chimodzi chomwe chandithandiza kwambiri kuthana ndi matenda a kansa, kusunga magazini yoyamikira kungapambane manja. N'zovuta kufotokoza kuyamikira ndikukwiya msanga nthawi yomweyo. Ndipo si njira yowongoka kuti mupeze ndalama zowonjezera zomwe mwinamwake simukuziiwala.
Zotsatira:
National Cancer Institute. Kansa ndi Maganizo. Kusinthidwa 12/02/14.