Anthu ochepa chabe amakhala ndi khansa ya m'mawere okha. Khansara ya m'mimba ndi matenda a banja, ndipo munthu aliyense amakhudzidwa m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Pali zambiri zomwe tingathe kugawana nawo pa banja lathu ndi khansa ya m'mawere , koma tiyeni tiyankhule za nkhawa yomwe nthawi zambiri imasamalidwa: odwala khansa ya m'banja.
Kusamalira Wokondedwa
Kusamalira wokondedwa ndi khansa ya masitimu ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zachikondi zomwe mungachite.
Mwinamwake mudzayang'ana mmbuyo m'masiku ano ndi chidziwitso cha zaka zikubwerazi, ndikuiwala nthawi zomwe zimakhala zowawa. Koma panopo, mungamve kuti ndinu wokhumudwa komanso wotopa kwambiri.
Mwinamwake mukumva anthu angapo akukukumbutsani kuti muzisamalire nokha, ndipo mwayi mungatero (mwinamwake mwakachetechete) mukuti "eya pomwe" mu mawu achisoni. Mawuwa ndi osavuta kulankhula kuposa kutsatira.
Zomwe anthu ambiri sazizindikira-nthawi yomweyo-ndizo zomwe zatchulidwazi zokhumba zanu zikhoza kubweranso ndikukuluma. Sikuti kungolephera kudzisamalira nokha kumabweretsa kudwala komanso kuchepa kwa kusamalira wokondedwa wanu koma kungathe kuyika mizu kuti imve mphamvu kwambiri: mkwiyo ndi kupsya mtima.
Ngati ndinu wokondedwa wa munthu amene ali ndi kansa ya m'mawere, timadziwa kuti mukuchita mantha komanso kukupweteketsani. Tamva kuchokera kwa anthu omwe ali ndi kansa yapamwamba omwe amakhulupirira kuti zowawazo zimakhala zovuta kwa okondedwa awo kusiyana ndi iwowo, ndipo izi zikhoza kukhala zoona.
Zomwe mungachite mukakhala ndi khansa nokha "mukuchita chinachake" -ngakhale izi zikutanthauza kulandira chithandizo kapena kuthana ndi zizindikiro za khansa. Kwa okondedwa, mosiyana, pangakhale kumverera kwakukulu kopanda thandizo.
Tonsefe timafuna kuchita chinachake kuti tithandize anthu omwe timawakonda. Komabe pankhani yokhudza khansa ya m'mawere timachita zoletsedwa.
Sitingathe kuvulaza okondedwa athu. Sitingalandire mankhwala. Sitingathe ngakhale kupanga zisankho zokhudzana ndi chithandizo.
Pamwamba pa zonsezi, mungafunikire kulemekeza wokondedwa wanu pothandizira chisankho chake chokwera njira mwa chithandizo chimene sichingakhale chosankha chanu chabwino. Ngati pali chiyero chenicheni cha chikondi, izi zingakhale mayeso amodzi. Kodi mungalimbikitse bwanji wokondedwa wanu amene akutsatira malangizo omwe simungafunefune? Tiye tikambirane za zomwe zathandiza ena kusamalira wokondedwa ndi kansa ya m'mawere.
Malangizo Othandizira
- Dzisamalire. Tikudziwa kuti mwamvapo izi kale, koma lolani lingaliroli lilowe mkati mwathunthu. Mukuyenera kusamalira nokha osati chifukwa chakuti thanzi lanu ndi umoyo wanu ndizofunikira, koma chifukwa njira yokha yomwe mungasamalirire wokondedwa wanu momwe mungathe ndi ngati mukudyetsedwa bwino ndikupumula. Ngati mukulimbana ndi izi, ganizirani zomwe mungafune ngati matebulo adasinthidwa. Kodi mukufuna kuti wokondedwa wanu azikhala wathanzi?
- Musati mupite nokha. Zimatengera mudzi kuti zithandize munthu amene ali ndi khansa ya m'mawere. Ngati ndinu munthu amene amakonda kukhala wolimba ndi kuthetsa mavuto nokha, mungafunike kuphunzira kuti musiye zina mwazimenezo. Mwinamwake mnzanu wina sali wokonza kuphika, osati womvetsera, kapena samamvetsetsa zosowa za wokondedwa wanu. Phunzirani kulola ena kuthandizira ngakhale ngati chithandizochi chili pansipa.
- Onjezerani zoseketsa ndi zinthu zosasangalatsa. Anthu amene anena kuti kuseketsa ndi mankhwala abwino kwambiri mwinamwake akhala ali pafupi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi khansa ya m'mawere. Kuwongolera kwa kuseketsa kungabweretse mpumulo wofunika ngakhale pa zochitika zazikulu. Pali nthawi yeniyeni yoseka komanso nthawi yakulira.
- Sungani malire anu. Zimadziwika bwino kuti anthu osamalira mabanja omwe ali ndi khansa akhoza kutentha. Muyenera kudziwa nthawi yoti muchite kuti ayi kapena kuti wina akuyenera kuchita ntchito m'malo mwanu. Ndi zophweka kusuntha malire awa ndikudziyesa kuchita zonse, koma osatero. Kawiri kaŵirikaŵiri chikhumbo chofuna kukonda kwambiri momwe zingathere chimakhala chisangalalo ndi mkwiyo. Ngati mukumva kuti mukupereka mopitirira luso lanu kapena kudzimana nokha, funani njira ina.
Kuthetsa Kutha kwa Moyo
Ngati ali wokondedwa wanu akulimbana ndi khansa ya m'mawere, mumakhala ndi vuto lachiwiri. Pamene mukuyesera kukhala njira yothandizira wokondedwa wanu, mumasiyidwa ndikumverera chisoni chanu, mkwiyo, kudzimva chisoni, ndi kukhumudwa, nokha.
Chisoni choyembekezereka chimachitika kwa okondedwa kwambiri kapena mochulukirapo, ndipo amatha kumverera ngati mdima, wosasunthika, ndi nkhalango. Mwinamwake mumadzimva kuti ndinu wolakwa chifukwa chovutika ndikumverera kwanu pamene wachikondi wanu akadali pafupi ndi inu ndipo ali wamoyo kwambiri.
Pali zambiri zomwe tingathe kuzigawana ndi okondedwa athu polimbana ndi kutha kwa zovuta pamoyo , koma vuto limodzi lofunika kwambiri-ngakhale kuti kawirikawiri limayankhula-liri pafupi kufa kwadzidzidzi.
Chakumapeto kwa moyo, zimakhala zachilendo kwa anthu omwe akufa kuti ayambe kufotokozana nkhani, monga kuona omwe afa kale kapena kunena kuti ali kumalo ena. Zili ngati kuti wokondedwa wanu ali ndi phazi limodzi mu dziko lino ndi phazi lina kudziko lina.
Sitikudziwa chomwe izi zikutanthawuza, koma tikudziwa chomwe chili chotonthoza kwa iwo omwe akufa. Ngati wokondedwa wanu akulankhula za kuona omwe anamwalira kale, musamukonze. Musamuuze kuti akukonza. Anthu ambiri amakhumudwa ngati banja lawo silikuwakhulupirira. Mvetserani mwachidule popanda kukonza ndi kupereka chilimbikitso chanu kuti mulipo ndipo mumamukonda . Kwa omwe ali ndi nthawi, mungapeze chitonthozo powerenga buku lolembedwa ndi anamwino odwala panthawiyi. Bukhuli ndi Final Gifts: Kumvetsetsa Kuzindikira Special, Zosowa, ndi Kulankhulana za Kufa.
Pamene wokondedwa wanu adutsa, dzipatseni nthawi kuti mukhale ndi chisoni. Mwinamwake mumamva zambiri, koma palibe njira yolondola yolira. Anthu ena amatonthozedwa powerenga buku monga Janis Amatuzio's Forever Ours . Nkhanizi zolembedwa ndi katswiri wa zaumoyo, zimatikumbutsa kuti omwe tasowa sangakhale kutali kwambiri monga momwe tikuganizira.
> Zotsatira:
> American Psychological Association. Mapeto a Zamoyo ndi Chisamaliro. http://www.apa.org/topics/death/end-of-life.aspx
> American Society of Clinical Oncology. Cancer.net. Kulimbana ndi Khansa ya Metastatic. Kusinthidwa 01/2016. https://www.cancer.net/coping-with-cancer/managing-emotions/coping-with-metastatic-cancer
> DeVita, Vincent., Et al. Khansara: Mfundo ndi Zochita za Oncology. Khansa ya pachifuwa. Wolters Kluwer, 2016.